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8.21 Harmonic Divergence

Harmony: "Everyone's curious about us vamps these days. I think I fingered a zeitgeist."

Synopsis:

Harmony and her two Pomeranians try to get into a club called "Elite," and are rejected. With lots of famous people and papparazzi around, Harmony picks up Andy Dick, takes him into an alley and bites him. Someone takes her photo. Headline: "Hot vamp gets taste of A. Dick."

With a taste of fame, Harmony gets herself an agent (and bites him), pitches her own reality show called Harmony Bites to MTV, and the show is picked up.

Meanwhile, a young Latina woman in L.A. turns sixteen and tries to leave her gang, Las Cuchillas. They attack her and she defeats them all. She sees the "Are you a slayer" television commercial created by Andrew and Vi, realizes she is a slayer, and waits for them to find her. Which they do. She rejects Buffy's offer to join the slayer army and decides to go it alone.

This unnamed young slayer goes to a shop called "Do You Ink I'm Sexy" and has her Las Cuchillas tatt covered with roses. Harmony and her entourage (including Clem, who is carrying her many Pomeranians) come in. The young slayer sees this as her chance to get close to, and slay, a vampire, and talks to Harmony's producer, who offers her a gig as an extra in a party scene.

At the taping for an episode of Harmony Bites, Security takes away the young slayer's stake at the door. She searches around for something wooden and settles on breaking up the clapper. (How symbolic. Harmony's fame will kill her.) The slayer attacks Harmony during the taping. Big fight. Harmony gets the splinter piece of the clapper away from the slayer and stabs and bites the slayer, killing her.

Ratings go through the roof. Vampires *and* slayers are outed to the general public. The producers are thrilled that they have a great villain -- thousands of slayers -- for their new reality show.

The Scoobies discover what's happening by reading about it in People, and try unsuccessfully to contact the media with their side of the story. Too late. The world believes that slayers are evil.

Review:

Okay, but hardly worth the effort.

Yes, I like Harmony as a character. If they needed a lightweight, unthreatening vampire to lull human beings into thinking vamps were no big deal, then Harmony was definitely the best choice in the Buffyverse. And if the point was to bring vampires and slayers into the public eye in an amusing way, they did it.

Although you'd think a young girl actually dying on a reality television show would cause some commotion.

Bits and pieces:

-- On a white board is a schedule written by the producers of future projects: "Who wants to be sired?" "Flavor of blood," "Undead chef," and "Project vampire."

-- Apparently, Clem has a tatt; it's a cartoon duck tattoo somewhere in his folds.

-- Dawn is still a centaur.

-- Where are the Scoobies? Are they still in New York?

Quotes:

Buffy: (to the young slayer, on phone, bad connection) "Honor, BRFFFF... duty. Together... over BZZT death... evil candy... sometimes there are snakes... honor."

Young slayer: "What the pink hell is this?"
Producer: "It's Harmony. You know her show, Harmony Bites, right?
Young slayer: "Um, no."
Producer: "That's okay. It's probably not gonna make it. Reality show about a vampire, only nothing much ever happens."

Producer: "We're doing some investigating , but it seems like there's a whole slayer army. Very organized, very violent. Best villains since the Nazis! Better!"
Harmony: "Yay! Better than Nazis! Can you feel the zeitgeist? It's all tingly!"

Buffy: "What the hell is wrong with people?"
Andrew: "People suck. Ooooh, Anderson Cooper."

Anderson Cooper: "Keeping us honest tonight, our guest, television personality Harmony Kendall..."
Harmony: "You promised to introduce..."
Anderson Cooper: "And her dog, Queen Puffles of Pomerania."

Eh,

Billie

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